How to Handle Questions About Your Wedding During the Holidays

Be patient.

By: Jen Glantz

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How to Prepare for Too Many Questions

With the holiday season around the corner, a lot of people will be sharing the dining room table with their closest family members, whether in-person or virtually. When conversation starts to flow, it’s inevitable that questions about your wedding plans will pop up and those nearest and dearest to you will want some answers.

Whether you’re someone who just got engaged, have been planning your wedding for quite some time, or if your big day was shaken because of the pandemic, answering these questions and jumping into the conversation can feel a bit stressful. Here are the best tips to help prepare you for the moment when someone asks about your wedding plans, no matter what stage of planning you’re currently in.

Have a Plan Ready to Go

Chat with your fiancé before you get together with family. Have a game plan for the details you want to share and what you want to keep private. Create a list of at least three details you are excited to share so that the conversation around your wedding flows. That way, when the question of “How’s wedding planning going?” comes up, because it will, you’ll be ready to share a few things you’re really thrilled about.

Avoid Firm Responses

When questions pop up that you don’t have answers to, try not to fall into a trap of making promises you’re not so sure you can keep. If you haven’t finalized the guest list and don’t want to promise your cousin that they can bring a plus one, let them know you’re not sure yet and will get back to them soon. Saying “maybe” or “I don’t know” might sound wishy-washy now, but it will save you from a big headache later when you and your fiancé finalize your decisions.

Know What You Want Advice On

Even though you’re most likely going to get a handful of questions about your wedding at holiday family gatherings, that doesn’t mean you can’t turn the table on your loved ones and ask them questions about your wedding as well. Think of 3-4 things you’d appreciate advice or help on and use those questions as talking points to get your loved ones involved. It’ll make your family feel engaged and important in your planning decisions.

Send Guests to Your Website

Use your wedding website as a go-to spot for all your big day details, whether you know them now or not. When people ask you questions you haven’t figured out yet, you can share that you’re working on planning that now and will update the wedding website with the details soon. You can also let family know that you’ll email them a link to the website when it’s updated and ready to go.

Be Honest

Your loved ones might not be aware of how much wedding planning stress you’re feeling. Share what’s really going on and any dilemmas or challenges you’re facing. It’s okay to be honest, especially because it’ll allow your family to understand all that’s on your plate (not just a pile of delicious Thanksgiving food).

Keep Answers Short

If you’re not up for talking much about your wedding and want to keep the conversation short and sweet, prepare answers to key questions your family might ask you and then express that you’d love to talk about your wedding at another time and you’ll keep them posted about when that time is. This will help you set expectations with your loved ones and share that you’re not up for talking too much about your wedding now.

Swallow Frustration

While you spend a lot of quality time thinking about your wedding and all the behind-the-scenes work that goes into getting hitched, your loved ones don’t. That’s why they might approach their questions with excitement and an urgency to get an answer from you. So even though you might want to brush off their questions or walk away from the table, try to put the frustration aside and approach the conversation as patiently as possible.