Fighting with Your Fiance During the Wedding Planning Process? Here’s What You Can Do

Follow these tips if pre-wedding stress begins to take a toll on your relationship.

By: Jen Glantz

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How to Get Back on the Same Page During Wedding Planning

Putting together every little detail and making enormous decisions about one of the biggest events of your life can feel extra overwhelming. The stress of it all might even impact the relationship you have with your partner, since together, you’re faced with constant choices and conversations around wedding planning.

If you notice that you and your fiance are arguing and fighting more than ever during the planning process, here are six things you might want to try. These tips will help you ditch the tension and get back to making your wedding adventure fun again.

Take a Break

Step away from the wedding planning activities for a little bit. It’s okay to take a break from the spreadsheets, emails with vendors, and decision making. When you and your partner feel you aren’t on the same page anymore, press the pause button on thinking about your big day and do something else instead. Rather than get lost in another argument, suggest that you and your partner both take a week-long break from any and all conversations around your wedding. It will allow you both to reset, think about other things, and work to get your relationship back on track.

Focus on a Hobby

If wedding planning is consuming all of your free time and causing you two to constantly bicker, switch your focus. Think of a fun hobby you two enjoy, a local activity you can spend a Saturday doing, or something relaxing you both really love, but don’t do often. Allowing yourselves time to leave the stress and decision making at home might help you both feel a lot better.

Hire Someone to Help

Perhaps a main reason you and your partner are fighting is because you’re both dealing with a lot of other things (whether personally or at work). If planning starts to feel like way too much, it might be good to get someone else involved. Consider hiring a wedding planner or day-of coordinator who can help you make decisions, take some of the stress off your shoulders, and even help suggest some compromises if you and your partner have very different taste.

Head to a Counselor or Therapist

Planning a major life event can bring out a lot of different sides of a person, and you might start to feel like you hardly know your partner anymore. Seeing a therapist or counselor might be a good way to mediate some of your arguments and find suggestions for ways you two can repair your relationship.

Eyeball Your Priorities

When every wedding decision feels like an argument, it might be time to look back at the wedding must-haves and priorities — the ones you talked about after getting engaged. If you don’t have a list of what really matters to you at this wedding, spend some quality time writing down your five main priorities. Then, you’ll have a guidebook for what you truly care about and what’s just not worth fighting over.

Get to the Root of the Problem

Oftentimes, you might think you’re just fighting about the color of your flowers, but really you’re fighting about how one of you cares more about the wedding details than the other person. Take some time to open up and communicate what is really bothering you both, not just what’s on the surface. Once you get to the true root of the problem, you’ll be able to make waves in figuring out the right solution for your relationship and this wedding planning process.