15 Questions to Never Ask a Bride or Groom During Wedding Planning

Planning a wedding is stressful enough — avoid these inquiries at all costs.

By: Jen Glantz

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15 Questions to Never Ask a Bride or Groom During Wedding Planning

Planning a wedding can easily start to feel like a full-time job. It involves endless decisions, careful budgeting, and countless hours making sure everything blends together to create a perfect celebration. As a friend or family member of a couple who is in planning mode, you might have questions that you’re eager to ask.

Before you call, text, or send that email, make sure those questions aren’t on this list of things you should never ask a bride or groom during their wedding planning adventure.

Are You Stressed?

Planning a wedding can bring up so many emotions. A couple can be filled with joy one day and filled with anxiety the next. Rather than asking if your friend is stressed (chances are the answer is yes), think of something you can do or send to them to make them smile.

What Can I Do to Help?

You might think offering help is one way to show you’re supportive and willing to take some of the stress off the couple’s shoulders, but it might actually make things worse. Instead, think of a few ways you’d like to help and specifically ask if you can take on the work (i.e., "Can I research trolley companies for you? Can I put together a list of cool party favors you might like?").

Can I Bring a Plus One?

You might be crossing your fingers that the couple will let you bring your significant other with you to their wedding. Instead of asking, wait for the invitation — which will clearly state whether you’re invited solo or if you can bring a guest.

Do You Wish You Eloped Instead?

Even if your friend is venting about how stressful planning the wedding of their dreams is, refrain from asking if they wish they just had eloped instead. They probably put down deposits with vendors, sent out save-the-dates, and are too far along in their planning to consider that as an option anyway.

How Much is This Costing You?

While you might be filled with curiosity over how much cash this wedding is costing the couple, it’s a bit taboo to ask. You can guess all day long when you’re at the wedding, but don’t ask the couple to see their wedding budget, even once the celebration ends.

Can I Bring My Kids?

If you’re not sure what the couple’s policy is on having kids at the wedding, wait for the invitation, where they’ll share who is invited from your family or visit their wedding website and check if they mentioned whether the wedding is kid-free or not.

Is It OK If I Come Late?

Perhaps you have a conflict on the day of the wedding or have another wedding to attend first. Rather than ask if you can come late, just come late. The couple will likely not notice (unless it’s a small gathering) and it’s better to work out the details of how you’ll get to their wedding before dinner is served on your own.

Where’s the Wedding Again?

Once you’ve received the save-the-date and the invitation, any questions about the venue, arrival time, or even dress code, should be answered for you. Check that invitation or their wedding website for reminders.

Can You Help Me Find a Place to Stay?

If the couple didn’t provide local hotel options, rather than ask for their help, take the location of the venue and search for nearby hotels yourself. Asking them to help you find a place to stay just adds more to their already long to-do list.

What Kind of Wedding Gift Do You Want?

If the couple knows what kind of wedding gifts they want, they’ll put those items on their registry. But if you’re not sure or they don’t have a registry, just give them cash instead.

You Know the Divorce Rate, Right?

Pointing out the statistics of how high the divorce rate is might sound like a funny or sarcastic thing to say, but it’s truly inappropriate. The couple is excited about their marriage and calling out that there's a chance they will get divorced ruins that happiness.

Are You Going to Have a Baby Post-Wedding?

Even if you’re eager to find out if the couple is considering having kids in the near future, it’s not right to ask them. Don’t even bother saving that question for after the wedding. Just don’t ask about it at all.

Are You Positive She/He is the One?

It puts a lot of pressure on a person to answer the question of whether the person they are marrying is the one. Of course they think that, but asking might make them doubt that. Instead of questioning it, share how excited you are for the couple instead.

Are You Having an Open Bar?

While having an open bar is an exciting open for guests, it can be expensive. Bring cash in case it’s not an open bar and don’t hold that against the couple. Weddings cost a lot of money and are hardly affordable.

Why Aren’t You Having a Good Time Wedding Planning?

Some people love wedding planning while others don’t. You don’t have to be happy the entire time you’re planning a celebration, so don’t make the couple feel bad for feeling stressed. Instead, do what you can to bring joy in their life during the process.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Should You Allow Kids at Your Wedding? 10 Questions to Ask Yourself When Making That Decision, 10 Tips from Wedding Dress Designers on How to Pick the Right Dress for You, 10 Fun and Inexpensive Wedding After-Party Ideas

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