The New Plus One Policy for Weddings

How to decide who gets to bring a guest.

By: Jen Glantz

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How to Prepare Your Guest List

Planning your wedding guest list always comes with a handful of headaches and awkward decisions. Who will make the final cut and who will have to watch the big day unfold from a distance, whether that’s on Zoom or even through your post-wedding social media pictures?

Coming to those conclusions can take a lot of time and depend on many things, from the size of your venue to your overall budget. In 2020 and beyond, smaller guest lists may also affect your personal plus-one policy. Family and friends who may have been able to bring a guest with them before might have to fly solo.

Wondering how to determine what your plus-one policy should be? Here are some important things to consider.

Don’t Make Any Quick Promises

You might start feeling pressured to say “yes” to your friends and family members when they ask about bringing a plus one to your wedding. Set a rule from the start that you don’t make any on-the-spot promises. Since so much is still unknown for weddings taking place next year, including venue/city size restrictions and more, it’s best to say that you’ll consider the request and reply soon with an answer.

Decide on Your Main Guest List First

Since you may have to edit your original pre-pandemic guest list, start off by making a list of must-have guests who you want to invite. Then create a secondary list, which can include giving plus one privileges to a few, and decide if you have the space to share that news now or if you want to wait until you’re certain about who from your must-have list can make it first.

Consider Venue Limitations and City Restrictions

Even if you’re eager to accommodate your guests and let them bring a plus-one, first be clear on venue limitations and restrictions from your city and state. While these things can change often because of the virus, you’ll want to make sure that you let guests know that if you’re saying “yes” to them bringing a plus one now, that might change.

Communicate as Much as You Can

Though it can feel like an awkward conversation to have, be sure to communicate with your friends and family members about why you’re not handing out plus-ones with ease like you might have last year. Let them know that there are a lot of restrictions and rules to follow. You should also share what your comfort level is, so they can be aware of what might be holding you back from having friends and family members bring someone they are dating or friends with.

Allow Plus Ones to Come to Less Formal Events

If you decide to have a zero plus-one policy for your wedding but are planning smaller and less formal events around the big day–like an outdoor happy hour the night before where guests can stop by–you can share an extended invitation for friends and family to bring a plus-one to that. While it’s not an invitation to the main event, it might make your guest feel happy that they can bring their plus-one to a pre-wedding event. Since people will be coming and going from that informal wedding event, it won’t make the party feel overcrowded if your guests bring someone with them.

Make a Last-Minute Call

With there being so much uncertainty around future weddings and when restrictions will be placed on cities and states, try adapting a last-minute plus-one policy where you tell guests that you can’t guarantee they can bring someone with them to your wedding but you’ll let them know a week before. That way, you can take the pressure off of having to worry about a bigger guest list that you might be forced to cut because of pop-up restrictions. It will also allow you to invite your must-have guests first, see who can attend and then pivot your guest list afterward.

Brush Off Any Hard Feelings

Don’t give into the pressure to agree to all requests. You might not be able to accommodate the same number of guests as your original list hoped for, but you will want to be surrounded by those that mean the most to you before anyone else snags an invite. Some people might feel upset by this news but try to remember, in the end, this is your big day and you’re allowed to say “yes” or “no” to who you’d like to be there.