10 Awkward Conversations It's OK to Have with Guests Before Your Wedding

It’s totally fine to bring up these pre-wedding topics, even if it feels a little funny.

By: Jen Glantz

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Feel Free to Ask These 10 Pre-Wedding Questions

There are a lot of decisions, discussions, and dynamics to think about when you’re planning your wedding. From who to invite on your final guest list to where everyone should sit at the reception, you slowly start to learn that having a celebration is all about making sure the people in the room are comfortable and content.

This might mean that you have to step in and have some important conversations with them so everything goes smoothly and hiccups are avoided. Wondering what some of the awkward conversations you should totally have with certain guests before the wedding? Check out this list right here.

Can the Kids Stay at Home?

Even if you’re not officially having a kid-free wedding, it’s okay to ask some of your guests not to bring their children to the wedding. Let them know the reason (space, the venue, or just that you want to keep the wedding more intimate). Making that clear in advance can give them time to find childcare and make the entire situation a lot less complicated.

You Can’t Bring a Plus One

If you hear about a guest who is hoping to bring an uninvited plus one, beat them to the ask and touch base with them. Let them know that while you would love to have their guest, your guest list is unfortunately full and there’s no room. Bring this up first so it’s less awkward when they come to you and you have to then say no.

Please Don’t Arrive Late

The people on your guest list that are always fashionably late might need an extra reminder. Ask them to show up early for your wedding ceremony so they end up being there on time. If this bothers you, contact those people and ask them to put in as much effort as possible to not miss your special moment.

Can You Keep an Eye on a Certain Guest?

Every guest list has one or two people who might consider themselves clowns, pranksters, or just wildcards at events. If you’re nervous a guest might steal the mic from the DJ and start telling jokes or interrupt you during your vows, speak with a guest you can rely on and let them know your concerns. That way, they can keep an eye on that person and you’ll have peace of mind on your wedding day.

I Might Need Your Help Going to the Bathroom

A big truth of your wedding day is that once you put your dress on, it might be hard to use the bathroom. Before the wedding, ask a close friend or family member if they can be your go-to person to help you out with that task on the big day. You can even awkwardly ask if they’ll come to your next dress fitting and rehearse the strategy of getting you to the bathroom while wearing your beautiful gown.

Avoid the Open Bar

Have a heavy drinker on your guest list who usually acts out of line after a few too many shots of tequila? Kindly ask them to behave themselves and spend quality time away from the open bar. Let them know that this is a family event and you truly hope they will respect that atmosphere. You might also want to alert the caterer or bartender so someone else can step in and help at the wedding.

I Have Cold Feet

Before the wedding, if you’re having doubts and need someone to talk to, don’t feel like you can’t admit that you might be having cold feet to a wedding guest you trust. Write down what’s on your mind and then have a conversation with that person. Don’t feel embarrassed sharing your thoughts and feelings with them, even if you end up having the wedding and they end up attending. It’s important to speak to a person who supports you about any uncertainty that you might have.

Can You Put Family Drama Aside?

Weddings bring a lot of different people in our lives together, and often, a lot of drama from the past. If there are guests coming that you know don’t like each other or are arguing, it’s a good idea to remind them that your wedding day isn’t the right time or place to rehash the past or discuss any conflict that they might have. Doing this lets them know that this celebration is one where they should behave in a cordial way toward anyone they simply don’t get along with.

You Don’t Have to Get Us a Gift

Giving a couple a wedding gift is a long-standing tradition, but it’s not mandatory. Perhaps there are people coming to the wedding who you know can’t afford to give a gift or are spending a lot of money just to attend your special day. Chat with them and let them know how grateful you are for their presence and how that’s the best gift of all. Reassure them that there’s no need for them to get you anything else. This gives them peace of mind and they can decide what they’d like to do.

Can You Please Not Wear White to the Wedding?

If you’ve heard that a certain guest is bragging about the white dress they are going to wear to your wedding, and that’s something that bothers you, it’s a good idea to get that off your chest before the wedding. Let them know that you’re excited to show off your special dress and would prefer if guests wore any other color but white.

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