1. Be Part of the Support System

While the role of being a bridesmaid can be filled with endless tasks, Emily Cooper, who has been a bridesmaid twice in 2021, says that your number one focus should be around support.

"The role of a bridesmaid is to be the best support system possible for the bride," says Cooper. "It is only normal for the bride to feel nervous before her big day. Bridesmaids are supposed to make the entire wedding process enjoyable and as light as possible for the bride."

2. Remember Who the Wedding is About

Even though it can feel exciting to be a bridesmaid, Erin Nutter, who has been a bridesmaid a few times, says it’s important to remember who the big day is really about.

"I have always been a bridesmaid to super close friends and family and it is important to remember that you are there to make it special for the bride," says Nutter. "They are not there to make you feel special."

3. Listen to the Requests

If you’ve never been a bridesmaid before, Shannon Bernadin says to show up in your role as someone who listens.

"Be there for the bride and be a good listener," says Bernadin. "There will be times when the bride needs to vent or talk about all things weddings or anything but the wedding, and it is your job to listen to her."

4. Plan an Awesome Bachelorette Party

Being a bridesmaid involves having a lot of fun, which is why Hannah Pierce, who has been a bridesmaid twice before, recommends focusing on the bachelorette party.

"I would urge any bridesmaids this year to plan the best bachelorette party for the bride that you possibly can," says Pierce. "This is the time that you can dedicate to your friend, and they need to be able to let their hair down after all the stress that comes along with wedding planning."

5. Be Upfront About What You Can Contribute

As a bridesmaid, it’s important to have boundaries. Chauniqua Major-Louis always recommends that each person in the bridal party be upfront about their availability and how much they can financially contribute.

"There’s an expectation that if you’re a bridesmaid, you can give money, show up, help find things for the wedding, and etc. It’s a lot," says Major-Louis. "This is not always true or the same for all parties. Managing the expectations of others will make your life a lot less stressful and save relationships."

6. Plan Out the Wedding Morning

Samantha Brandon, who has been a bridesmaid eight times, says the biggest thing to remember to do is plan out the wedding morning.

"Whether the bridal party has their own suite, a hotel room, or just getting ready at home, make sure you have a speaker for some wedding vibes, breakfast and/or lunch, and a small toast prepared to help with the nerves and send the bride down the aisle," says Brandon.

7. Hold Space for the People Getting Married

Getting married in the pandemic is filled with unusual challenges and stressful moments, which is why Kimberley Healy shares advice around holding space for the people getting married.

"Planning a wedding right now is more stressful than it's been in the past," says Healy. "The future is still fairly uncertain and today's brides are probably in for a bit of a rollercoaster when it comes to wedding planning. If they come to you with an issue, listen to understand, not to respond."

8. Let the Bride Take the Lead

When you’re a bridesmaid with a bridal party filled with personality, Christina Yen says it's important to read the bride well and let her take the lead.

"If you know she is a Type A planner, let her plan every detail of her bridal shower and bachelorette party," says Yen. "All you should do is be supportive and be the messenger while pretending it's your idea. Most brides don't want others to know it was their idea anyway. On the other hand, if she is open minded but secretly hoping for an amazing time, make sure to meticulously plan for every minute because these are the two aspects she needs you to make the decisions for."

9. Help Out with Vendors

While you might not think of doing this, Alexandria Bydalek says it can be so helpful to help the bride communicate and organize things with vendors.

"That’s by far the most overlooked and stressful part of the wedding process for the bride so having someone by her side to help manage that and sort through communication is key," says Bydalek. "Not having that all on her shoulders takes the edge/stress off and that’s definitely an area no one offers to help with."

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