A Definitive List of Things Bridesmaids Should and Shouldn’t Pay For

What's really expected of a bridesmaid? Here are some helpful guidelines.

By: Jen Glantz

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Taking on the honor of being a bridesmaid for a close friend or family member is both exciting and expensive. According to a recent survey, the average bridesmaid will spend over $1,200 on their dress, travel, and all of the pre-wedding events they are expected to attend. Before you say yes to being a bridesmaid this year, read on to find out when you should pick up the tab and what you shouldn’t be on the hook to pay for so you can set boundaries accordingly.

YES: The Dress

It’s usually customary that the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses. However, if the bride picked out a style that’s out of your budget, it’s okay to suggest another option instead. Search for a similar dress you can afford (from a resale site, a rental site, or a local department store) and approach the bride with that option.

YES: Gifts

Being a bridesmaid is the most long-lasting and meaningful gift you can give the person getting married because you’re committing to being by their side during the wedding process. However, since the celebration is a big one, it's a nice idea to buy the couple a gift or two along the way (for the engagement party, bridal shower, or wedding). You can spend however much you’d like or simply DIY a homemade gift instead.

YES: Decorations

If the bridesmaids are in charge of throwing the bridal shower or bachelorette party, you should offer to contribute some cash toward the decorations. If you’re on a tight budget, offer to DIY decor or help search for deals on items that are needed.

YES: Bachelorette Party Treats

While you don’t have to pay for everything the bride eats, drinks, or does at the bachelorette party, it’s a nice gesture to buy the person getting married a thing or two along the way. Perhaps the group pays for her dinner one night or covers a ticket to an activity.

YES: Any Travel or Accommodations

Getting to and from all of the pre-wedding celebrations you attend is something that’s on your plate to cover. Whether it’s rental cars, flights, or hotels, you’ll be expected to shell out the cash for those costs. Plan ahead and search for deals.

NO: Hair and Makeup

Getting ready with the bride and bridal party on the morning of the wedding is a fun moment before the party begins. If the bride decides to hire a team of hair and makeup artists to help with glam, it should be up to you if you want to opt-in and pay for that or do it on your own. Some brides will treat the bridal party to hair and makeup, but that cost doesn’t have to come out of your pocket.

NO: Certain Accessories

If the bride is particular about a certain kind of necklace or pair of shoes that you have to buy and wear on the wedding day, it should be something they pay for — especially if you’re buying the bridesmaid dress.

NO: The Bachelorette Party Trip

One of the biggest expenses of the wedding adventure is the bachelorette party. If the trip is taking you somewhere that’s far away and costly, you don’t have to say yes and go. While it’s rare for the bride to pay for this trip for everyone, it’s not something you should have to pay for either, especially if you can’t afford it right now.

NO: Bridesmaid Bouquets

A beautiful bouquet is usually a fun perk of being a bridesmaid, but it's not something you should pay for. The florals are part of the bride’s budget and shouldn’t be something you put down money for.

NO: Wedding Day Transportation

When it comes to transportation on the day of the wedding, that should be taken care of by the couple. If the wedding reception and ceremony are in two different spots, they'll usually hire a bus or limo for the bridal party to accompany them during pictures, and finally bring them to the party location.

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