I Kept My Pregnancy a Secret for 8 Months — Here Are My 5 Reasons for Doing It
It couldn't have felt more special.
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Photo By: Courtesy of Jen Glantz
Photo By: Courtesy of Jen Glantz
Photo By: Courtesy of Jen Glantz
Photo By: Courtesy of Jen Glantz
Photo By: Courtesy of Jen Glantz
Photo By: Courtesy of Jen Glantz
Why I Kept My Pregnancy Hush Hush
When I found out I was pregnant, I felt flushed with excitement and pure joy. But the more the news sank in, the more I started to feel overwhelmed. Not only did I feel unprepared about all the changes I was about to face during my pregnancy journey, but I didn’t feel like I knew very much about motherhood or taking care of a newborn.
I decided that the best way to ease into this new adventure, without letting too much stress and anxiety take over the experience, was to keep the news a secret from most people in my life until I felt ready to tell them. After telling close family members and a few good friends that my husband and I were having a baby, I didn’t tell anyone else for 8 months.
Here are the five main reasons why I decided to keep my pregnancy a secret from the world for so long and why I don’t regret it.
I Was Nervous About the Journey
When I went to my first appointment with an OB/GYN at 7 weeks pregnant, she ended our time together by saying something that’s not only true, but extremely scary for any pregnant woman to hear. She said anything could happen with this pregnancy and nothing is guaranteed.
She handed me a list of next step appointments and tests that I’d hopefully make it to over the next 9 months, depending on the health of the baby.
Since anything could happen and there were so many tests to do, from genetic screening to an anatomy exam, I found myself too nervous to share the news of my pregnancy with a lot of people, in case something happened.
I decided to wait until the majority of the tests were over and once we had the results of the anatomy exam, at week 22, I only first told very close friends and loved ones that I was pregnant.
I Was Scared I’d Lose Business
For the past 8 years, I’ve worked as a freelancer and entrepreneur. A lot of my job involves myself interacting with clients and providing them with services. I was worried that when people found out I was pregnant, they wouldn’t want to work with me anymore because they thought I’d be distracted or not giving them my full attention. I worried that they’d find someone else to work with who wasn’t experiencing a major life change.
I made the decision to wait 8 months before sharing the news with anyone in my work environment. In order to do this, I had to be strategic. I made all in-person meetings virtual ones, so my growing belly wasn’t visible. I delivered all my assignments to clients before sharing the news so that they could see I was committed to working during my pregnancy, just like I would be afterward as well.
When I finally told people, I found that the majority of them were very supportive. Some clients wondered why I didn’t tell them earlier and I explained that my pregnancy journey was one that I wanted to experience with just a small circle of people around me. After I shared that, they didn’t seem to mind and I haven’t lost any upcoming business or had any clients decide not to work with me after hearing the news.
I Wanted to Enjoy the Adventure Privately
Even though I’m a content creator who has shared a lot of my life with an online audience since 2011, one thing a lot of people might not realize is that I’m a private person.
Over the years, when big news happened to me, from getting a book deal to getting engaged, I waited weeks or months to share it with my audience.
It’s a rule that I have so that I can keep a little bit of balance and privacy in my own life, before I welcome hundreds of thousands of strangers into what is going on.
Not sharing my pregnancy with my audience allowed my husband and I to keep the joys, the confusion, and the unknowns of the adventure just between us. This helped us create special memories and engage in deeper conversations without the advice of people online.
I Didn’t Want Everyone’s Advice
After I got engaged and told the people in my life that I was getting married, I felt instantly overwhelmed by the amount of unsolicited advice people were giving me. I knew the same thing would happen when I shared the news of my pregnancy.
Even though I didn’t know very much about taking care of a newborn or even what items a baby would need, I wanted to find things out on my own and do enough research on important topics before hearing other people’s advice. That way, when people would try to tell me what products to buy or how to set up a sleep schedule for a baby, I’d have my own knowledge base and my own opinions to pull from too.
Because there are so many opinions around how to raise a newborn and how to take care of a baby, I also wanted to learn from the experts before sharing the news with friends and family. I knew that if I didn’t invest in childcare classes and books, I’d rely too much on asking the people in my life for their knowledge and help.
I wanted to make sure I learned everything I needed to learn before supplementing that knowledge with personal anecdotes and learning experiences told to me by friends.
I Wanted Ongoing Celebrations
I’ll never forget the emotions I felt on the day I found out I was pregnant. I was excited and nervous, but mostly looking forward to all the new parts of the journey ahead.
Because this was such a big life event for me, I knew that if I told everyone in my life the news, all at once, that it wouldn’t feel as special. Instead, I made a list of everyone I wanted to tell and set a date on the calendar for when I would tell them. Not only did this give me something to look forward to during my pregnancy, but it also allowed me to continue to celebrate this news again and again every time I told someone I loved.
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