5 Mistakes I Made as a New Mom and What I Learned from Each One

I Rushed Back to Work

As an entrepreneur and business owner, I didn’t have any paid time off for maternity leave. Since I didn’t know how much goes into taking care of a baby, I assumed I'd be able to work full time and be a full-time mom during those early months.

So, a day after my baby was born, I propped open my laptop, took down my out of office notification, and tried to balance it all. It was impossible.

I felt like I was carrying around an extra layer of exhaustion, stress, and guilt that if I was spending time trying to work, I wasn’t giving my newborn the full attention that she needed.

Even though it seemed like a plausible idea to work during those early weeks, It would have made more sense to prepare what I could so that I would have been able to take off at least six weeks after giving birth.

That way, I could spend the time learning how to be a mom, without having to meet a lingering deadline.

I Didn’t Have Boundaries

There’s a lot of excitement that surrounds you when you have a baby, and a lot of it comes from eager loved ones who want to come over and say hello. Before the baby arrived, I thought it would be nice to have a full house of visitors. But once the baby came home and people started trying to make plans to see her, I found myself desperate to push people away for a few weeks.

It was overwhelming enough trying to care for the baby, handle sleepless nights, and recover from a long labor without having to entertain guests who wanted to come over just to see her or hold her.

Instead of ignoring how I was feeling or what I wanted during this time, I allowed too many people to visit us during those early weeks.

It would have benefited my mental health a lot more to set a firm boundary from the start that we didn’t want any visitors for the first six weeks. It would have taken away the pressure that we felt to introduce the baby to so many people and if we had that boundary, the people in our lives would know upfront what we wanted and hopefully respect that.

I Spent too Much Money

As a mom-to-be, I wasn’t sure what the baby needed, so I bought everything that every list on the Internet told me to buy. I ordered five different types of diapers, three different types of shampoos, and every best-selling swaddle that my mom friends suggested.

I didn’t realize how much money I had spent (over $1,000) and how much stuff I had until the baby arrived and we hardly touched the shelves of items or drawers filled with clothes.

The truth is, every baby is different and enjoys certain things. It’s hard to know what the baby will like or need until you get to know your own child. I wish I just bought the basics and either rented certain items (like fancy bassinets or swings) to test out what she enjoyed before buying the item.

I also wish I set a budget and stuck to it so that I didn’t overspend on things I didn’t really need.

I Didn’t Prepare for the Tough Stuff

While I spent months preparing for the baby, I realized that I wasn’t preparing for the right things. A lot of my time was spent learning how to conquer childbirth and understanding all the items a baby might need. That information did come in handy, but I gave it too much of my focus.

I didn’t spend any time learning about topics that were extremely important and would’ve been helpful once the baby was born. For example, taking a lactation class or even working with a lactation consultant would have helped me prepare for what to expect with breastfeeding. It also would have been valuable to research more about sleep schedules and how to integrate a routine with a new baby over the months.

I Wish I Had More Specific Help

Before I had the baby, I told myself that I didn’t need any help. Even though being a new mom would be challenging, I decided that I’d figure it all out on my own, with help from my partner, who also didn’t have any paternity leave.

But I wish I wasn’t so stubborn and actually hired specific people to help me during the first few months. I would have created a budget to pay for a weekly meal service so that our fridge would be stocked with pre-made healthy options, since there’s not a lot of free time to cook. I also would have hired a postpartum doula to help me feel less alone and less scared as a new mom during those first few weeks.

Since breastfeeding was a big challenge, but something I wanted to do, it would have been nice to have a lactation consultant on speed dial, who I could pay to have weekly sessions with to help me figure out how to breastfeed.

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