These 8 Wedding Traditions Are Outdated — Here’s What You Should Do Instead

It's totally fine to skip or revamp some wedding activities.

By: Jen Glantz

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Something Old Into Something New

When you’re in the midst of planning your wedding, you might find yourself eyeballing endless decisions, from what you want your decor to look like to what you want to happen every single hour of your big day. As you're picking and choosing what to have at your celebration and what to skip, you might find yourself scratching your head over some outdated wedding traditions that don’t feel like a fit for your party.

The good news is, you don’t have to incorporate any wedding traditions that you don’t want and if you’re wondering what to do instead, here are some alternatives that you can say yes to as you’re planning your big day.

Tossing the Bouquet

Toward the end of the wedding reception, the bride will often call all her single friends onto the dance floor, turn around, and toss her bouquet at them. The tradition says that the person who catches that bouquet is the lucky person who will find love and get married next. However, this tradition can sometimes make your single friends feel uncomfortable.

Instead, you can play a game where you ask guests who are married to stand up and find the couple who has been married the longest. Once that couple is identified, ask them their marriage secret and reward them with the bouquet.

Wearing a White Dress

Around 200 years ago, Queen Victoria wore a white dress when she married Prince Albert. After that, wearing white to your wedding became the most popular and chosen style by brides. If you’re someone who doesn’t want to wear white or follow that tradition, the truth is, you can wear anything you want on your wedding day.

If you’re not sure where to start, skip going to bridal stores and head to special occasion dress stores instead, where you’ll find a variety or styles, patterns, and colors. You can also search dress departments in local department stores, hire a designer to create a custom look, or search online retailers to find a style that fits your personality.

Doing a First Dance

One tradition that a lot of couples do to kick off their wedding reception is a first dance. Usually, the couple will spend a few minutes slowly dancing to a song of their choice before inviting the other guests onto the dance floor.

However, if the idea of having all eyes on you while you do a slow waltz with your partner makes you feel awkward, you can instead pick a more upbeat song to enter the reception to and invite all of your guests to join you on the dance floor to participate in your first dance with you.

Father Walking the Bride Down the Aisle

During the ceremony, a lot of brides will wait to be the last one down the aisle, accompanied by their father or another family member, who will then hand them over to their partner waiting at the other end of the aisle. For some, this tradition can feel outdated or they might not have a family member they want to walk them down the aisle.

You have many other options you can do instead, like not walking down the aisle at all and standing up at the altar with your partner when your guests enter. You can even walk down the aisle with your partner instead of walking solo or with a family member.

A Bride’s Side and a Groom’s Side

When guests enter a wedding and head to the ceremony location, they often find themselves figuring out where to sit. At some weddings, there’s a sign that designates one side of the chairs for the bride’s side and the other for the groom’s side.

But if you want your friends and family to mix together, create a sign that shares that your guests can sit anywhere they’d like during the ceremony, so they feel comfortable taking a seat on either side.

Cake Cutting

After dinner is served at the reception, the next plate that guests look forward to is dessert. At some weddings, couples will do a formal cake cutting where they will ask guests to gather around to watch them cut the cake and have the first bite. Oftentimes, this tradition interrupts your guests from dancing the night away.

Instead, you can do a cake cutting at the start of the reception so it doesn’t interrupt the evening, or skip the cake cutting altogether and have your caterer just cut up the cake and place it at each person’s seat.

Party Favors

It used to be a popular tradition for the couple to send their guests home with a party favor. Some couples would spend a lot of money on monogrammed candles, bottle openers, or even luggage tags. But sometimes, your guests head out of the reception and forget to grab the party favors at the end of the night.

Instead of spending money on these favors, you can put the cash towards something your guests will enjoy at the party, like an extra appetizer during cocktail hour or an extra late-night dessert.

Doing a Rehearsal the Night Before

The night before the wedding, some couples will ask their wedding party to come together and meet them at the venue for a ceremony run through. They’ll have their wedding party practice walking down the aisle, go through the run of the show, and even show them where to stand during the ceremony. But for some guests, showing up early for this can be tough with their travel plans.

While this tradition saves some stress that can occur on the day of the wedding, this walk through can also be done an hour before the ceremony (led by a wedding planner or a member of the bridal party that you brief ahead of time) and take just 15 minutes. That way, your wedding party won’t feel pressured to arrive too early the day before your celebration.

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