5 Ways to Talk About Wedding Budgets and Contributions with Family Members

Because weddings can be fairly expensive

By: Jen Glantz

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Budgeting 101

After you get engaged, it might feel like you’re floating on a cloud of excitement for quite a long time. But all of a sudden, you’ll feel as though it’s time to start diving into wedding planning and before you know it, you’ll find yourself staring at a long to-do list of decisions.

Before you book your venue and your vendors, the best first step to take is to set a budget for your celebration. Without one, you might find yourself spending more money than you had ever imagined. As you’re putting together how much cash to put toward your big day, you might wonder how to ask your family if they would like to contribute to your wedding planning fund.

If you’re unsure of how to have wedding budget conversations with your family, here are five ways to kick off those talks early on in the planning of your celebration.

Come Prepared

Talking about money can be awkward, especially when it’s with family members. Even before you talk about wedding contributions, do as much initial preparation as you can. Draft a realistic budget that incorporates all the costs of each line item that you want for your wedding, from your venue to your floral arrangements.

Spend time researching local averages for vendors and compare that with how much you and your partner are comfortable spending, whether or not your family can help financially.

If you start the conversation showing what you’ve researched and the initial budget that you put together, you can see if they’d be interested in picking up any of the costs or hosting the rehearsal dinner the night before.

Based on what they can contribute, you can expand the range of your budget (ex: going with a photographer that’s at a higher price point).

Ask What They Had in Mind

One way to ease into the conversation with your family members is to ask if they had thought about contributing to your wedding and what they might have had in mind. Some family members might have a game plan already that they’ve spent years saving up for, while others might not have saved up much but would like to contribute in specific ways that make sense for their current financial situation.

Demanding that your family members pick up the bill for certain vendors or wedding events can add stress, resentment, or even friction during the conversation. First, listen to what they had in mind and then adjust your budget and planning based on their response.

Make Suggestions

While some family members might be eager to help, they might not have any idea of how much they should contribute. The best way to approach this situation is to share a few ideas and suggestions. Put together three different tiers of financial support that could help you out.

For example, one level can be for them to pay for part of a wedding vendor (ex: paying for 50% of the wedding DJ), and another tier can be having them pay for the entire package (ex: paying for 100% of the bar tab).

That way, they can feed off your ideas and see what makes the most sense for their wallet.

Have Separate Conversations About Money

When you’re wedding planning, you might want to include both sets of family members in every conversation. When it comes to the money talk, approach each side separately. Having the conversation around how much family members can contribute to your wedding can become awkward or competitive when both sides of family members are at the table. In order to make everyone comfortable, ask your family members first, and then have a talk with your partner’s family members.

Be OK With Paying for it On Your Own

While it might seem like a standard wedding tradition that family members support the couple financially and pay for items during wedding planning, that’s not always the case.

Knowing ahead of time that your family members might offer to help in other ways, other than by offering to pay for part of your wedding, can help you manage expectations and also come up with a budget that supports how much you and your partner can contribute to pay for the entire wedding yourself, if you have to go down that route.

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5 Ways to Talk About Wedding Budgets and Contributions with Family Members

Related To:

Shop This Look

Budgeting 101

Come Prepared

Ask What They Had in Mind

Make Suggestions

Have Separate Conversations About Money

Be OK With Paying for it On Your Own

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