What Is Polyamory?
Here's what an expert has to say about this unique relationship type. Catch the premiere of Polyfamily, April 29 at 10/9c!
Ana Maria Serrano
Polyfamily explores the dynamics of two couples who are in a polyamorous relationship, all living together in a closed quad with four children and one on the way. Many people aren’t familiar with polyamory, so here’s a primer on what to expect as you get ready for the show.
We spoke with marriage and family therapist and certified clinical sexologist Randi Levinson to understand what polyamory is.
What is Polyamory?
According to Levinson, Polyamory means having multiple romantic or sexual relationships at the same time with the consent of all involved. The core principle is that one can love more than one person at a time, and that key factors are honesty, trust, and communication. Unlike cheating, everybody involved is aware of what is happening and agrees to it.
People of all genders and sexual orientation may be in a polyamorous relationship.
How common is it?
A pair of studies published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy reported that more than one in five participants (21.9% in Study 1; 21.2% in Study 2) had engaged in consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationship, including polyamory, open relationships, and swinging during their lifetime. It’s hard to pin down an exact number for polyamory.
Younger generations, especially Millennials and Gen Z, are generally more accepting of polyamory and non-traditional arrangements than older generations.
Are there certain rules or boundaries people commonly set?
Individuals in polyamorous relationships frequently create agreements to ensure things are understood, respected, and safe.
These agreements might consist of establishing honesty and communication, safe sex, time management (making sure everyone has time together) and emotional boundaries.
Some individuals might have one main partner, while others have more equal partners. This is called hierarchical and non-hierarchical polyamory.
Polyfamily features a closed quad. What does that mean and is that typical in polyamory?
A closed quad is considered rare. Most arrangements tend to be smaller ones, like open relationships, triads (3 people), or V-shaped relationships (one person dating 2 other people who don't know each other).
The logistics and emotional complexity of a quad, involving more people and communication, tend to make it one of the more difficult arrangements to manage.
Michael Rowe
What is the difference between polyamory and polygamy?
Polyamory refers to multiple loving and consensual relationships, (not necessarily marital relationships) based on the principles of openness, honesty, and mutual consent.
Relationships may involve any mix of genders and/or structure (not simply one person with several partners). All parties involved are aware of and have consented to the relationship.
Polygamy, on the other hand, usually refers to marriage to multiple spouses. Most often practiced in religious or cultural contexts.
Typically, one man with multiple wives (polygyny), though other forms exist. Polygamy is not always based on equal or consensual emotional connections between all partners.
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